7/16 Daniel’s Testimony about Christian Foundations and God’s love
This is a true story about Daniel, my beloved Husband. He wanted to share this in case there were other readers out there who felt the same thing. So hear these words from someone who has been there!
My own testimony is that I discovered one day that I didn’t love God. I was watching a water baptism where they asked the candidate whether they loved God or not. To my amazement I was convicted that I would have to say NO! to such a question or be a liar. (By the way I was born again, baptised in the Holy Spirit, and in Christian ministry!)
As I prayed to the Lord about this terrible revelation (at least I had enough sense to go to Him about it) I got an even greater shock. Jesus told me that “Not only did I not love God, but also I had no desire to love Him“. I was absolutely mortified!!
I recognise now that my heart had no desire to love God although my spirit did.
So how did I get out of this bind that any Christian would find depressing? I remembered the motto of a group called ‘Sonshine Ministries’: “Jesus is the Answer” and “Pray about Everything”. Therefore I asked the Lord what He wanted me to do.
He responded with an answer that was quite logical: “Ask Me to put a desire in your heart to love Me”. So I prayed that prayer, hoping He would be faithful.
He was and a few months later I had this burning desire to know and love Jesus.
I then prayed that He would put His love in my heart so I could love Him back (with His own love mind you – rather than any self-effort love I might be able to give).
Months later on the way back from an Adelaide conference, I was sitting in a German restaurant in Hahndorf, when the Lord gave me a vision. I saw a little purple pea in the left of the picture and Jesus on the Cross in the right side. I could sense all the terror, loneliness and mental illness of the World all resting on Him on the Cross. Compassion welled up inside me and as I watched in puzzlement, the little pea softened and grew into a water balloon kind of thing that broke and sent water rushing up to the Cross.
You see it was my heart softening and breaking for Jesus.
How well I remember how I howled and sobbed in that restaurant that day for what seemed like hours. I’m sure the other patrons thought me mad. That day was the day that I started loving Jesus from my heart.
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Thanks Daniel for sharing this story. I know it is a very real story as I was sitting next to Daniel when all this happened. He has shared his story with many others and guess what? Most people identify with the same thing – their Heart doesn’t love or even want to love God. If this is you, dear reader, please seek the Lord about how to help your heart come to a better place. As Daniel did, ask the Lord to put that love in your Heart first and then watch what He does for you!
Here is a book that might help with your questions. ‘Desiring God’ by John Piper. You can buy it HERE through The Book Depositary. Free delivery anywhere in the world!
…or maybe the opposite is true: “When I don’t Desire God” again by John Piper. The Book Depositary.
Susanne Fengler, Blog Author
www.christianfoundations.jesus-treeoflife.info
Tags: Daniel's story on God's love
Filed under: From Slave to Sonship, Susanne's top posts
Wow, marvelous weblog. And I wish you Merry Christmas!