April 25th, 2013

6/24 Dealing with Harmful Authorities in Following Jesus

There are only two methods given by Jesus to handle conflicts and harmful authorities.  Both ways are outlined in Matthew 18:21 onwards. 

Conflict will come; it’s unavoidable.  It is part of being a human being.  It’s how we handle that hurt that counts.

There are Seven Steps of Action you can take when you disagree with something an authority asked you to do:

1.  Check your own attitudes:

Make sure you are not just being stubborn and want your own way.   Let them know your willingness to do the right thing with their guidance.

2.  Clear your own conscience:

Is there something you have done wrong?  Make restitution if needed, ask forgiveness and deal with the problem if it is your fault.

3.  Make sure you understand what their basic reasons for the request:

 Find out what they are really intended to ask you to do.   Know what is it that you feel is wrong  … and why.

4.  Make up a creative alternative Suggestion:

Use the difficult situations to expand your own ideas of life, gain insights and come up with a good alternative for what they are asking of you.  Make sure you follow through on the alternative you have agreed on.

5.  Know how to appeal to a higher authority:

Know what authorities are ‘higher’ than the one you are dealing with.  Make an appointment and explain the problem from your point of view.  Be careful of “throwing dirt” on the first authority.  Leave the final decisions with them.

6.  Give God time to change the authority’s mind:

Ask and expect God to help you in the difficult situation. Try to build a right response and realise He is working on you as well.

7.  Sometimes we must suffer for doing what is right:

Learn when God is saying to stand firm on your decision.  Know when it is time to ‘flee’ and leave the situation.

After having been through 10 major leadership and system church hurts in my life, I can see these are the best way to come out of the pain of harmful authorities.  Try and practice these when you face the next level of church hurts.

Susanne Fengler, Blog Author

www.christianfoundations.jesus-treeoflife.info

 

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Filed under: Challenges to the Christian Faith, Christian Leadership Training

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    "I have followed the flight of an eagle with My eyes. I have seen the mighty fish in the sea and they all give Me great pleasure ..… but do you know the greatest of all My creation is the Adam and Eve I created?

    "Time has not changed My joy in seeing mankind grow. However, My heart has been saddened when I know the pleasure I wish to give My people, give to you My child. My ways are meant to be light, My burden easy. Religions and rules make the heaviness I wish to lift from My people.

    "I long to draw you closer, to teach you deeper things of My Spirit. I need you to let your Heart rest in My love, to rest in My peace. I know the paths ahead for you. I have planned and will provide many treasures you have yet to see. Look for My hand and let Me guide you.

    "I do know of your beginnings, of the painful places you have walked in your life. I have provided healing and grace to get up and go on … but know this, My child - I have never left your side. I have always walked with you, even when you cannot see My hand in your life. It is in times like this that I wish to grow your faith and trust.

    "I have treasured your growth in following Me … and I want you to continue to seek Me for who I am, not what others have said about Me - or what the groups around you think.

    "Look for Me and you will see Me in many layers in your life. I know your future; I know the dark places ahead and the places filled with sunshine and light. You will find Me in both places as I am moulding you and teaching you to walk with Me.

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  • Facing the Orphan Spirit

    To begin this section, let me tell you a story. 'Jenny' grew up in a semi-Christian home where she went to Sunday School every Sunday. It was probably more so that her parents had Sunday morning to themselves, away from their 4 children that they were sent to church. For whatever reason, little seeds grew in Jenny until she was a 20 year old and working in the church office.

    She enjoyed her work and 'served well'. She even had a t-shirt made that said 'Steward of the Most High God'. She often marked her folders as 'Jenny, Steward of God'. This sounded like a good saying and to her, even sound doctrine … but it wasn't the whole truth. Something was missing.

    She thought about leaving this group and looking for another church. Working in the church office made her feel like she belonged somewhere. She was the 'Helper to the Pastor' and that was how others saw her too.

    They were her 'authority', her source of comfort and didn't they have the final say on what the Bible said? She wasn't really 'close' with any of them anyhow; none had tried to help her grow spiritually. She kept the rules of the church but quietly thought about 'church hopping someday'.

    When she had a good day at work, she felt God smiled at her, even though her peers frequently excluded her in their church activities. She had her job with the church and they didn't. "Maybe they are just envious", she thought. "I need to protect what God has given me, especially since they don't understand me."

    More and more she felt guarded and distrustful of others in the church and sometimes - if she let her thoughts go there - even felt the church pasters and leaders weren't doing the very best as stewards that they could have. "God was sole owner of everything and He had given me a job to do!" … and that was that as far as Jenny told herself.

    So that was Jenny until the day her Mother died and she faced some hard truths. She was independent and could take care of herself but what about her family? One or two of the pastor's wives stopped by to offer their sad words but few others came.

    The funeral wasn't very impressive as their money had been used for doctors. Jenny felt alone and lost, wanting to be loved by those she served but somehow, all this need and pride was mixed with isolation and being alone.

    Sad and lonely, she went for a walk. "There's got to be more to God than this!" She began to question if she even knew the real Jesus and His love for her. At first, she didn't really feel like she could talk to HIM, the One who walked beside her. She didn't feel worthy; maybe she hadn't done enough? She was only His Steward …. but He saw her as so much more!

    As Jenny walked and allowed His love to penetrate her independent, self-sufficient Heart. Her view of her walk as a Jesus follower began to change. Her view of being that 'Steward' began to melt into another sense of being His child first.

    She began to feel gratitude for what the Lord was doing for her … and for her family. Never having known her biological father, she began to sense she really had a Father who just might cared for her. As the tears rolled down her face, she could she had turned her back on the real Source of her comfort, turned to the pastors who could never fill that need inside.

    She could see that believing she was 'only His steward' had robbed her of knowing she was His child. Taking care of His things had replaced knowing she owned these things as His heir and beloved daughter.

    She returned to the home she knew with greater peace than ever. She removed the labels 'Steward of God' of her folders and books. She replaced the labels with 'Growing child of God'. What a difference she felt!" (Names and places have been changed to protect 'Jenny's identity.)

    As we begin this Stage 4 in our series From Slave to Bride, join us to find answers for your own life.